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10 signs that your relationship needs couples therapy
- Mark Colclough
By Mark Colclough, Couples Therapist and Fully Qualified Psychotherapist M.A.
In one survey, 93% of couples reported that couples therapy gave them effective tools for dealing with relationship problems.
10 signs that your relationship needs couples therapy
In one survey, 93% of couples reported that couples therapy gave them effective tools for dealing with relationship problems. Which relationship problems are best dealt with in a therapy setting?
This entity has its own set of rules, strengths, challenges and expectations. Therefore, there is no ‘one size fits all’ approach to having a successful, happy union.
What is common amongst all relationships is that, sometimes, conflicts can arise. Some of these are minor and can be dealt with quickly. Other conflicts can be extremely complicated, emotionally difficult and can put enormous pressure on the relationship.
Couples therapy helps people, whether dealing with minor or major conflicts, to overcome them positively and proactively. But how do you know that your relationship needs therapy? Here are 10 signs…
Top reasons my clients have attended couples therapy
Conversations turn into arguments
Arguments are normal and healthy. In fact, studies have shown that frequent arguments are a sign of a functioning relationship. However, when everyday conversations frequently turn into conflicts, and you find your relationship in a persistent state of tension, something much deeper could be going on, and couples therapy should be sought.
A cultural, racial or religious disagreement has occurred
Sex has stopped or stagnated
You’re considering infidelity / Someone has been unfaithful
Without a doubt, infidelity is one of the hardest challenges a couple can endure. Studies have shown that almost half of the population of Denmark has been unfaithful at some point in their lives – it is extremely common and always distressing. Affairs don’t happen from nowhere. There is always a build up. Couples therapy helps to heal a partnership struggling with infidelity, and reduce the likelihood of a future affair occurring.
There are money worries
Money is one of the leading causes of divorce. There are all sorts of ways that money can negatively impact your relationship. These include debt, secret spending, an imbalance of earnings (and therefore power), or never agreeing on how much should be spent, saved or invested. For some, talking about money can be very difficult, and so couples therapy allows a safe space for this topic to be explored with transparency.
Lacking interest in one another
There are issues involving children
You / they crave more space
Hearing ‘I need space’ is never easy. If your partner has said this, it’s likely they’re feeling overwhelmed, suffocated or distracted by something else. Taking time apart is difficult but often necessary to avoid the escalation of problems. What’s crucial though, is that when you come back together again, you seek therapy to help understand what caused the need for space in the first place.
You / they crave more intimacy
There has been a sudden life change
If you have recently experienced a significant event, such as a bereavement, relocation, a new baby, a job loss or a trauma, couples therapy can help. Couples therapy gives you both the time and space to acknowledge the event, explore the feelings within it, work through any challenges and face the future in a more positive way together.
There is no right or wrong time to go to therapy. I would recommend, however, that if you have noticed any of these 10 signs, that you explore the option of therapy as soon as possible. This way, you can take a proactive approach in maintaining a healthy, solid union, rather than waiting for a crisis to hit.
