- Personal therapy
At vide, om din terapeut er et godt match
- Mark Colclough
Af Mark Colclough, Parterapeut og psykoterapeut, cand. mag.
If you are considering therapy for yourself or for your relationship, one of your first priorities might be to find a therapist who ‘suits you’. You might have even gone as far as to imagine what your therapist looks like, sounds like, and how they behave and make you feel.
Therapist AS a Nurturer
Some people might envision their therapist as a nurturer – even a parental figure.
What can you really expect from me as a therapist and what happens if it’s not quite what you imagined?
Mark Colclough, MA
Others imagine a more domineering Freudian character – challenging your status quo and revealing powerful things to you about yourself. Some might imagine a friend and ally, there to act as a sounding board.
Your expectations of therapy can have a huge influence over how you relate to your therapist, So, which one am I? What can you really expect from me as a therapist and what happens if it’s not quite what you imagined?
I’m here to explain to you what to look for (and how to respond) if you are wondering whether I am a good fit.
Therapy Is What Happens In The Room
If we have already begun therapy and you are considering whether or not I am the right fit for you, it’s crucial to consider what’s happening in the room and why. What happens in the therapy room – the ‘therapeutic relationship’ between you and me, can tell us so much about what’s happening in your broader life. This is, in part, called ‘transference’ and ‘counter transference’, which refers to a redirection of unconscious feelings from their original object to a new object (in this case, the new object is your therapist).
Remember, many people feel a mixture of interchangeable feelings about their therapist and these feelings can be clues into your true inner self – let’s discuss and explore them!
The importance Of Challenge
In my experience, some clients can decide I am not the right fit as soon as they experience challenge in a therapeutic context. This often happens in couples therapy, when one partner is not getting the outcome they personally wanted, or is having their own behaviour challenged and explored. What’s important to remember is that challenge within the therapy context is extremely helpful and will help lead you to a more authentic and helpful outcome. If you are uncomfortable about a challenge, it’s important that we discuss that.
Flexible therapy approaches
Når vi begynder at arbejde sammen, kan du føle dig utilpas med nogle af de mere praktiske områder af vores terapi. Dette kan inkludere terapilokalens placering, hvordan vi sidder, hyppigheden af terapi eller hvordan vi kommunikerer. Hvis dette er tilfældet, kan justeringer foretages for at sikre, at du føler dig mere komfortabel. For eksempel, hvis du ikke kan lide fastheden ved ugentlig terapi på en defineret placering, kan du abonnere på terapi via abonnement, som giver dig mere fleksibilitet i, hvornår og hvordan vi kommunikerer. Tal med mig om eventuel utilpashed, der opstår i forhold til, hvordan vi gennemfører sessionerne.
What’s important to remember is that challenge within the therapy context is extremely helpful and will help lead you to a more authentic and helpful outcome.
Mark Colclough, MA
Red Flags To Never Ignore
Hvis du endnu ikke er startet på terapi, men overvejer det, er der nogle mere grundlæggende aspekter at overveje for at sikre, at den valgte terapeut er det rette match.
- Kvalifikationer – sørg for, at din terapeut har de nødvendige kvalifikationer til at udføre psykoterapi. Husk, at andre professioner nogle gange kan maskere sig som psykoterapi (som f.eks. livscoaching, CBT eller hypnose). Disse fagfolk er ikke uddannede psykoterapeuter. Hvis din terapeut ikke kan fremvise deres kvalifikationer, ville det være klogt ikke at ansætte dem.
- Overtrædelser – hvis du bliver opmærksom på, at en terapeut overtræder deres etiske kodeks (for eksempel, at de bryder fortrolighed, ikke opbevarer data korrekt eller praktiserer upassende grænser med deres klienter), bør de undgås.
- Falske løfter – En troværdig terapeut vil aldrig love, at du opnår specifikke ting – som at få det nye job, du ønsker, eller få en ægtemand. Det ville være uetisk og uærligt for en terapeut at antyde, at de kan "magisk" fikse dig. En anerkendt terapeut vil derimod tilbyde at støtte dig i din egen vækst, så du kan opnå dine mål selv.
